Da CR3W reloaded

Well ALL of my missionaries are home!! We spent the most amazing weekend in Bear Lake to end the summer on a high note. It was me, Sean, Jono, Dee, Tom, Alan and his friend Tia, then Nate and Chelsea came up for one night, and of course my fam was there too. We had a blast! Stayed up too late, built Tent City (party tent and crash tent), tubed, ate, hot tubbed, saunad, boys played bball, girls chatted, played Shanghai, lots of lovin haha...it was just great. I love having all my boys back!!! But we did miss Chris. And I got to give Brady a head rub today, oh my goodness I had missed his silky soft hair. I just love all my boys so much!!!

I get by with a little help from my friends

• "A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."
• "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
• "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you."
• "My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, you've had a great life." -Lee Iacocca
• "A true friend wants nothing more from you than the pleasure of your company."
• "It's the friends you can call up at 4am that matter." - Marlene Dietrick

Before I do my spiritual post, I have to talk about my amazing friends and these quotes that I have found. Growing up, most of my friends were LDS, and at the time I was going through the motions of being Mormon but never really thought about it that much. Looking back now I realize who my real friends are and which ones are going to be there with me throughout my life and I will always be able to count on.  

At Kim's farewell. I love her.

For the first quote. Kim has always been there for me. No matter what mistakes I have made or what path I've chosen she has ALWAYS been my best friend. Now she is serving her mission in Berlin and is the best example I could ever ask for. Even though I miss her every day, our friendship isn't going to change. She is my rock and I know that it is because of her support and prayers for me, that I have been able to reach the point that I am at now. I love her more than she will ever know, and I always will. Kimberly Rasmussen will always be my best friend. 

Some of Da Crew. Brady, Cory, Dee, Tom, Ninow, Sean, Tyson, Brian.
Misisng: Jono, Lancaster, Nate, Alan.

Da crew is an interesting group of guys but oh my goodness do I love them. Each and everyone, in their own special way. So the next 2 quotes are about them. I was really close with Sean, Tom, Brady, Tyson, Ninow, Dee, Bri Guy, and kinda Cory before they all went on their missions and whatnot. Lancaster, Jono, Nate, and Alan all had already left so I never got to meet them until recently. These boys have changed my life in the most amazing way. With every single one of them (minus Sean) it was an instant friendship. They included me in their group immediately and it was like we had been lifelong friends, even when it had just been a couple days or weeks. So one of the quotes really hit me because throughout the whole time they were gone, I was so focused on partying and meeting lots of new people and trying to impress and whatever...but as soon as these boys all got home I remembered how easy real friendships are. I still really like all the people that I've met, but they are nothing compared to how I feel about these boys in the short time that we have known each other. Once I started going back to church, all of my party "friends" basically stopped talking to me or inviting out to go do things. I was pretty much alone until they came out of nowhere and made me a part of da crew again. At a time when I felt so alone, they were there for me. Their friendships mean so much to me because they are a constant reminder of how I want to be, we can talk and have a great time without needing any substances, and they're all so adorable and sweet to me. They are my guardian angles, helping me to make right choices and help me stay safe and happy. Lol now that hard part is going to be trying to pick which one I want to marry!! J/K ;)

Sam and Alex  :)
Oh how I love these girls!!

Alex has been a friend of mine for 2 years now. She has known everything about my life since the day we met. Boys, school, drama, friends, family, ice cream ;) Alex pretty much knows it all. Granted she is a few years younger than me, but when we hang out there is never a need for drinking or any other stupid stuff like that...and I ALWAYS end up laughing until I cry. Always. She is the happiest, funniest girl in the world and her laugh is contagious. Through simply being there for me when I need to vent or have a "Guess what!" moment, Alex is someone who I am sooooo lucky to have in my life. And it's nice to know that when we do hang out, I don't have to focus on not doing bad things or knowing that I'm in a bad situation because it's always great wholesome fun haha. She's just a doll. Then there's miss Sambo aka Milk Dud. She is Alex's best friend and I've heard about her for a long time...but through the small world of Utah she came on our family Lake Powell trip. Best thing of my life. Sam is HILARIOUS!!! We've had many a great chat and amazing nights doing randomly awesome things. She is just great. I love these two so much! 


My dad has also always told me that if I had a handful of REAL friends, then at the end of the day I was doing okay. This is something that I have found to be so true. Nate always asks me if what he can do for me and he always wants to help...what a stinkin' sweetheart... but honestly all I need from da crew is to just be themselves. They are amazing in every way and I just enjoy being with them and having "the pleasure of their company". I know I could call any one of da crew members if I really needed them and they would be there for me in a second. Sam and Alex will always be there to cheer me up. And Kim is in Berlin but even still I know that she is looking out for me and loves me. It is an unbelievable feeling to know that I have these people in my life. I thank God for them every single day. My friends are my world and I would do anything for them.

Search, ponder, pray

I have been looking for a long time about what to believe.  It's been a very long journey to say the least. I've tried praying and reading my scriptures and hung out with those who I should be spending time with.  But I never was doing it for the right reasons.  Every time I did this before, I would just go through the motions rather than actually caring about what was happening in my life.  
The times that I have been happiest were the summer of '08 when I was hanging out with da crew and was not surrounded by any "bad" things. Then I met Kevin a while later and once again, had the best time of my life hanging out with him and doing wholesome things.  Other than those two times, I have been surrounded by things that aren't spiritually enlightening and don't give me good feelings.  It has been like a dark cloud has been over me that just hasn't allowed me to be truly happy.  Then a month ago, wow it seems like it has been so much longer, my whole life changed. I met Jono, Lancaster and Nate. 
These three reminded me of what I had been missing in my life. They allow me to be myself and have a good time without needing to be drunk.  They have shown me how to live again. I've started reading the scriptures and praying every night and that alone has made a difference. Never before have my prayers been answered until 2 days ago. Sunday August 1st, 2010. 
I went to a singles ward with Nate and Chase.  I got to Nate's at 12:40pm and then we went to church at 1.  The boys went to priesthood while Nate's sister and I went to relief society. The lesson was about finding strength through our trials and learning from our experiences. Little things that people said got to me. A few girls mentioned how their patriarchal blessings have helped them remember where they were striving to be, and that just fueled my fire and made the desire to get mine even stronger. Then Nate came and we went to Sunday school were the lesson was about Naaman and how we are told such simple things to do and as long as we do them we will be blessed. 
Sacrament meeting was like something I have never experienced before.  I have been praying for guidance and strength through my trials and choosing to do what is right. I have given thanks for the boys and their amazing influence on me. I have asked for some type of reason to go to church and all the answers were in the words that people said through their testimonies. Technically it wasn't directly from God, but I still believe they were answers to my prayers. The people said things that helped me so much and made me love my friends even more.  Another silly thing, my stomach was growling really loud because I had been fasting for almost 24 hours which is probably the only time I have ever actually fasted. My stomach growling kept making me laugh, so I asked Heavenly Father to make it stop so I could feel the spirit more and enjoy the experience. After that, it still growled occasionally but it was silent so I didn't think it was funny and didn't laugh. For the first time in 6 years I went to church on my own.  I chose to give up drinking, partying, and swearing on my own. I am choosing to not spend time with people who do things against LDS standards on my own. I set up meetings with the bishop to get my Patriarchal Blessing and hopefully temple recommend on my own. Everything is just for me and it has made it so worth it and even more gratifying. I love being spiritually awakened and having something that helps me stay close to those who really matter and stay doing the things that I want to be doing. 
After church I finally broke my fast. Nate's family invited me to have Sunday dinner with them. I can't even remember the last time that I had a sit-down family dinner at my parents house other than for special occasions. The conversation was light and easy and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. They're a great family. Sam has a little crush on me and throughout the day asked me if Nate and I were going to get married, he gave me kisses on my cheeks, and asked me so many "do  you like this or that" questions. Nate's sister and her husband just got home from their honeymoon so we watched them open all of their presents. Sam sat on my lap the whole time...he is too stinking cute. Once we had enough of that we went and played with Sam out on the tramp until it was time to make cookies. Peanut butter thumbprints, Nate's favorite. I just hung out with his sisters and brothers and had a great time. 6 kids who all get along great, is something that I had never seen before. Chase came over and we all had a great time talking about church stuff and just enjoying the pleasure of each others company.  Then at night we went on a walk with his family, it was so relaxing. The perfect end to a sunday...but it wasn't quite over yet. We walked and talked, Sam came and put his arm around me a couple times haha what a stud!! But on the walk I remembered that I had a quiz and paper due. Nate told me to just stay and do it at his house. I started them at 10:45pm and finished a 3pg paper and quiz by 11. It was pretty impressive, even though it was probably terribly written. Nate, Chase and I read out of missionary book and laid out on the tramp ... until the sprinklers turned on and we all got wet. It was so funny!! We sat on the couch and talked. I love just sitting and talking. They would honestly do anything they could to help me. It is nice to finally have people who I can count on no matter what. Nate was really tired so we were going to leave, but only Chase ended up leaving. We sat by my car and talked some more haha. Talking to Nate helped me realize what kind of a life I could have and what I want for my future. I finally left at 1:40am. 13 hours later i laughed and played and learned so much. Loved every minute.
It was just an amazing day in every way. Had my prayers answered in a beautiful sacrament meeting, spent time with a perfect and fun family, had great conversations with two great guys, got to make cookies :) It was so spiritual and loving and made me want to continue down the path that I'm on even more than I did before.